How to Recognize Sex Addiction

Sex addiction is a difficult disease to identify. Many sex addicts are ashamed, feel guilty or are embarrassed by their disorder. As a result, they don’t discuss it with others and often go to great lengths to hide it. It is important for loved ones in the addict’s life to know how to recognize the addiction in order to help those who may be suffering in silence. Recognizing this problem in yourself, a friend or a loved one is an important first step.

Many people who suffer from sex addiction struggle in silence, because they don’t talk about their addiction out of shame, guilt or embarrassment. Still others don’t realize they are suffering from an addiction because it can be difficult to recognize. The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health defines sex addiction as “a persistent and escalating pattern or patterns of sexual behaviors acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self or others.” Many addicts think they just have a problem with some sexual behavior or another. They don’t realize it’s an addiction.

Even though this problem doesn’t have an official diagnosis, there is a set of basic criteria put together by clinicians and researchers to identify sex addiction. These criteria are based on chemical dependency literature. In addition to that, the American Psychiatric Association has released a preliminary definition for what they formally call Hypersexual Disorder.

Healthy adults normally have a strong desire for sex and sexual activities. However, the key factors that separate those normal desires from addiction are obsession, compulsion and repetition which result in negative consequences. In spite of the lack of an official diagnosis, sex addiction can be successfully recognized after a careful evaluation of the different criteria used by clinicians and researchers.

There are tests available online to determine if you have a sex addiction

By applying the key characteristics of chemical addictions, the American Psychiatric Association has been able to put together a set of symptoms that can be helpful in recognizing sex addiction or Hypersexual Disorder. They caution that these symptoms need to occur over a period of at least six months, with recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, urges, and planning or engaging in sexual behavior.

Spending excessive amounts of time focusing on sexual fantasies, urges, and planning for or engaging in sexual behavior is one sign of addiction. The time may be consumed focusing on masturbation, pornography, sexual behavior with consenting adults, cybersex, phone sex, frequenting strip clubs or engaging in or patronizing prostitutes. Many adults think about or engage in many of these activities. The defining difference between a healthy adult and one struggling with sex addiction is the excessive amount of time the addict spends in thinking or performing those activities.

Repeatedly engaging in sexual fantasies, urges or activities as a result of mood changes, such as anxiety, depression, boredom or irritability, is another symptom of sex addiction. In most cases, healthy adults respond to sexual desires based on their moods. However, in the case of the addict, the sexual fantasies, urges and actions are used to alter moods, much like a drug addict uses a chemical substance to achieve an altered mood.

In addition to mood responses, a response to high stress levels or situations can be another symptom of this addiction. While many healthy adults might use sex as a way to relieve a little stress in their lives, an addict is repeatedly and uncontrollably compelled to engage in these activities as a response to the stress.

The final signs of sex addiction relate to the addict’s desire to limit or stop their fantasies, urges and actions but meet with little or no success, even when faced with devastating consequences such as job loss, economic hardship, relationship problems or even criminal charges. A careful evaluation of all these different symptoms will help addicts, their loved ones and clinicians to recognize the addiction.

Swinger Club Amenities – What’s Inside One

Most on-site swinger clubs are equipped with a D.J., a bar, and a dance floor similar to what you what find at any normal club you go to. Depending on the swing club you visit, there are plenty of areas you can choose to be to get things started, from dining and mingling areas to ladies only and free for all sections. Other amenities many include:

Adult-orientated media displayed on large screen TV’s throughout the club, or XXX closed circuit TV in private rooms to help stimulate the mood.
Billiards and table games for members to have fun and at the same time break the ice and socialize with others.
Massage tables and sex furniture to help take you to a heightened sense of arousal.
Dance poles and cage sets where women can perform or just let loose and enjoy the erotic movement of the bodies next to them.
A locker-room (sometimes attended) to store your personal belongings and a shower facility to freshen up before and after activities.
Semi-private rooms with large windows where exhibitionists play and other members can stay to watch as voyeurs, or just enjoy the action as they pass by.
Private rooms where you can lock the door behind you, watch yourselves in the mirror, and enjoy great sex knowing that just on the other side of the wall another couple (or threesome or more) is doing the same thing. Sometimes you can hear their sexy sounds through the walls, which multiples your excitement.
Theme decorated party rooms to appeal to every fantasy like a doctor’s office, dungeon, or jail cell.
A Jacuzzi where you can feel more comfortable being naked in the water and at the same time let your hands roam to play with your partner (and maybe others too) under water and not in obvious plain view of everyone.
If you know that you want to see more but are not quite sure how much you’d like to participate, most clubs will have an area designated for you to be able to stay inside your comfort zone and watch other couples having sex, and maybe even sometimes the most erotic orgy you’ve ever seen. This helps you feel like you’re part of the activities without needing to participate in them.
If you decide to take the plunge and find another couple that you want to play with, most clubs will have large multi-bed rooms providing plenty of space for everyone to enjoy themselves and each other.
If you want to explore your taste in the kink side of play, some clubs provide a designated area (sometimes called the dungeon) to learn safe, proper, and fun ways to explore the world of erotic power exchange in the BDSM Lifestyle.

Sex Addiction Amongst People Who Engage In Adult Dating

Psychologists define sex addiction as a ‘progressive intimacy disorder that is characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts.’ Is it possible that people who engage in adult dating and swinging activities are addicted to sex? Certainly, in some cases the answer may be yes.

Amongst those who regularly attend swingers club parties or are constantly signing up with one adult dating site after another, there are clearly indications of behaviour that would meet the psychologist’s criteria. Anyone who has spent time in the company of some of these people will probably recognise the sort of behaviour described below.

One Track Conversations

However hard you try to make everyday conversation with adult dating sex addicts, they will always bring it back to a topic directly connected with adult dating. For example, if you try to talk about a pleasant weekend spent in a certain place, they are sure to ask you whether you found a swinger party to attend there. If you talk to them about a holiday abroad, they are likely to pass comment on the country’s attitude towards sexual liberation. If the snow is stopping people getting to work, they will tell you how it messed up with a date or party they had planned. If a summer heat-wave is forecasted, their spin on it is bound to include reference to outdoor sex or scantily dressed women.

Scoring Points

You don’t actually have to meet these people in person to gain experiences of the way they converse. Try logging into an adult dating site chat room; you’ll soon observe plenty of examples. The sex addicts will try to dominate the proceedings with a great deal of boasting and point-scoring about their knowledge of the adult scene, how many clubs they have been member of, how many club owners they know personally and irrefutable opinions of where the best parties are to found.

The Meaning of Life

They give the impression that the only life they have is their sex life. Practically everything they do revolves around their adult dating plans. If they have a family gathering to attend, you can be sure that they will be fretting about how it clashes with a meeting or party they had hoped to go to. When they plan their vacation they are likely to investigate whether the resorts they are considering are near to any swinging clubs. Some will actually restrict their holiday choices to designated adult resorts such as Cap d’Agde in France or the Desire resort in Mexico.

Possession of a Special Gift

There is amongst adult dating sex addicts, a widespread belief that somehow they have earned a good sex life by virtue of superior the sexual techniques they have acquired, or by excelling at flirtation, or simply because they are regarded as irresistibly attractive to others.

Dismissive of the Dangers

It is not uncommon for sex addicts to have an obsessive desire for unprotected sex backed up by being in a state of total denial regarding the risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases. With regards to HIV, the rationale you will hear most often from such people is that infection is really only a threat to heterosexuals in Sub-Saharan Africa.

Sex Stories – Could it Be the Climax to a Great Night’s Sleep?

Did you know that sex stories may be the answer to getting a good night’s sleep? Yup, that’s right sex stories. Sounds a heck of a lot better than Valium or elephant sized doses of sleepy time tea, doesn’t it? Sex has been proven to be a great sleep inducer and spicing up your sex life with sex stories can be a big help in getting the sleep you need. There is no argument that the restorative powers of sleep are needed for a healthy and happy lifestyle. Sex stories can help add to your sex life making the sex better as well as your sleep.

Not sleeping can be dangerous to your health, but using sex stories as a sex aid can help stem off the negative stimuli that causes us not to be able to sleep. Studies have shown that sleep deprivation can bring on serious disease such as dementia and Parkinson’s disease. Not to mention how it can generally mess up other things in your life like your work, family life relationships, etc. The key is to wind your body and brain down just before bed and sex is the perfect way to do that. Using sex stories can put your in the mood to have sex by exciting your mind and helping to reach a better and more satisfying orgasm. That is what puts you to sleep, the release.

Some may argue that reading sex stories would get your brain too excited and may not be the best way to get a good night’s slumber. Not true. As mentioned before, it’s the release in sex that brings the mind and body down into a restful satisfied state more conducive to deep sleep. Excitement before bed such as action movies or going for a jog or other exercise have negative effects on your sleep because the endorphin build up stimulates your brain without the benefit of release. This is what causes your brain to work overtime and diminishes your ability to fall asleep.

Sex stories definitely have a nice dual effect don’t they? Spicing up your sex life while enjoying a restful night’s sleep should sound pretty good to just about anyone! Sleep is so important to your health, so is sex, so this sleep remedy is a real winner! Sure is a lot more attractive than trips to the doctor, pharmacy or the health food store.

Telling Sex Stories Can Lead to a Great Orgasm – Secrets to Dirty Talk Sex

Telling sexy stories and talking dirty in bed can lead to having better intercourse and ultimately a great orgasm. Using dirty talk is really a form of foreplay and by using it you can stimulate you partner and turn them on. Many people get into a routine and this can become boring and lead to a non exciting love life. You need to spice it up and telling each other sexy stories can be one great options to put you in the mood.

The first thing that you want to do is to find out what fantasies the other one has this way you can cater the story around that interest. Do not be afraid to try this new technique on each other because you need to try new things always to keep your love life fresh and interesting. Women like it when you talk softly in there ear so you may want to tell your sex story there so that they can fell you close to them.

It is important that when you are talking dirty that you also caress and message each other so that you can hear and feel the pleasure. Remember that when a woman is going to have an orgasm that it is very important that you have prolonged foreplay because they take longer than a man to climax. Never rush through your love making or foreplay because you need to enjoy this time and to get more intimate.

It is always best that when you are trying something new that you have all the information you can so that you can have a successful time with your partner in bed.

The future of porn is vr porn. If you want to find out more about virtual reality pron, visit this vr porn tube

Pornography As a Turn-On for Fun-Driven Adult Sex

Adventurous couples can buy a pornographic video and watch it together. That is generally a surefire way to end up in bed. In fact, it is usually when couples are in bed that they watch such films. And if the film is a good one they will enjoy being turned on as they watch it. Many couples find that the provocative content stimulates them to duplicate what is being viewed. They are impulsively driven to touch each other, kid around, mimic the sex acts, and swing from the imagined chandelier as they tickle each other’s fancy.

In many countries in the world, including most industrialized ones, pornography is not banned or hidden from view. For example, at King’s Cross district in Sydney, Australia a section of the city is designated to show and sell pornography Sex oriented videos, DVDs, books, sex toys, lubricants, assumed aphrodisiacs, are sold in kiosks and stores. Strip clubs, restaurants, massage parlors and other clubs are available to meet members of the opposite sex.

In Europe, in many countries, and cities pornography is not hidden and thus available for adults. In all the countries there are restrictions to the sale of pornography to children and prosecution of offenders is open and continuous.

In the US pornography is not banned from sale to adults although there is no tolerance on anyone abusing the Child Pornography laws.

But for the purpose of improving the sex life of adults pornography has a place for some. Do you have to be lonely or hard-up to use porn? The answer is No. Porn can be a substitute for sex for many lonely and sex starved adults, mainly men, and for adults without a partner who like visual stimulation for self-arousal.

Finally, let’s examine whether pornography can fit into the armamentarium of the average adult who wishes for increased stimulation for lovemaking. What can porno offer?
As with any movie there is added stimulation by watching real pictures compared to imaging such scenes. Some porno videos actually tell a reasonable story where there is more than just sexual exploitation. So some selection is necessary. Google is a good resource to discover what are considered the best sex videos made in the past few decades.

Beside adding visual stimulation couples can mimic what they see, learn about new positions, empathize with the excitement of the sex partners, imagine participating in the viewed sex, experience sex beyond their own interests, such as gay, bi, S and M, bondage, oral and anal sex, and the use of fetishes. Some show dancing, foreplay that could be stimulating and perhaps above all can act as a stimulus to open the viewers to become freer and lustier about sex.

If you attempt to try out the benefits of sex videos and it is new to you imagine becoming an adventurer and explorer so you don’t take a negative bias into your viewing. An open mind will allow you to gain what might be there for you. At the very worst it won’t have any effect on you and may even turn you off. If so, just chalk it up as another interesting experience.

To determine if pornography may be a stimulus for your personal sex life approach its use openly. It might be a new vehicle for greater enjoyment of sex for occasional use or even frequent use. Remember adults have no restrictions on what they mutually do and prefer behind closed doors. So enjoy the movies and enjoy the sex and know you have taken another step to gaining a new stimulus for sex and love.

Couples and Sexuality – Amp Up Your Sex Life This Summer by Cooling Down!

Would you like to beat the heat to enhance your sex life this summer? Extreme heat in the summer months can be a love repellant, especially when you feel hot and bothered or when the kids are up and around for more hours. This can create a challenge for you making love with your partner. Does this sound familiar? If so, read on for some solutions….

It’s a hot one this year! Keeping hydrated with clean water at all times is of the utmost importance for your health and your sex life, no matter what activities you do. Here are five fun and affordable ideas on keeping your love life hot while your body stays cool this summer:

Love tip 1: Pool party for two
Cool down in the water then heat things up! Float, relax, and break out the rafts and noodles; whatever floats your boat! Play some nice soft music while you dip. Taking a swim in your pool is a wonderful way to cool down and connect. Remember to flirt, hug, and smooch in the pool to amp things up. If you have a private pool, then skinny dipping can be very daring and arousing. Take your time- move slowly towards and away from each other playfully. Making love in the water is a fun way to share your passion while staying cool, especially at night when the temperature drops a bit. If you have kids, send them to Grandmas or your favorite sitter for the night!

Love tip 2: Romantic indoor picnic:
Buy or prepare some cool treats for the two of you- veggie platter, cold salads, fruits, cheeses or anything else chilled and easy that you enjoy eating together. Make some cold drinks such as spiked lemonade, Mojitos or Margaritas. Remember that alcohol dehydrates, so drink some extra water with your picnic dinner. Set up your picnic blanket in the middle of the room. Light some small candle jars around the room and set the mood. One or both of you can prepare the feast.

Feed each other slowly in-between kissing and teasing each other. Enjoy yourselves by candlelight. You can also enhance the mood with nature CDs such as ocean, forest, lake, or whatever you find most romantic. Tonight, make love in a different room, such as the living room on the picnic blanket. Focus on giving each other oral pleasure tonight, so each of you has a turn to lay back, relax, and stay cool while enjoying the bliss of orgasm!
Love tip 3: Romantic movie date:

This cool date can be at home or out. If you go out to the movies, find a very romantic movie out in the theaters. There is usually at least one each summer. Find a seat in the back of the theater. Hold hands! Steal a kiss or two. Whisper sweet something to each other about what you will do to each other later. Share some popcorn and chilled water while you enjoy the movie. Laugh, cry, and then go home to make love.

Love tip 4: Racy movie date:
If you are at home, rent or buy a racy movie. There is a company called Candida Royalle that offers some softer adult films with cheesy romantic story lines. One site you can get them at is Adam Eve. You can also find some harder core adult films on that site, depending on your tastes. You can have fun with these movies, giggle or reenact some of the scenes together. Try some different sexual positions tonight, such as woman on top facing away from the man. This allows for maximum air circulation and freedom to move in a way that pleases her. Don’t forget to reach around to stimulate her clitoris to send her into O-land! Remember to drink plenty of water, and top it off with ice cream or some fruit salad.

Love tip 5: Cool and Hot Shower Time:
Instead of taking a hot shower tonight, make the water lukewarm or on the cooler side. Bring some waterproof toys such as I rub my duckie or a waterproof vibrator. You can also use a movable shower head that has different speeds for some soapy fun! Spend time lathering each other up. Take your time and use a nice scented soap, such as mango, raspberry or lemon.

By the way, vibrators can be for him and her! Massage each others back and front areas, focusing first away from the genitals and then later to the genitals. To stimulate her, use circular motions with the vibrator around the labia and clitoris where most of the nerve endings are. Later, insert one or two fingers gently into her vaginal canal. She may be able to reach one, two, three or more orgasms this way in a row. To get him going, stimulate his penis with one hand and using the vibrator underneath his testicles. Ask for feedback to see how it feels. Some people like vibrators and some don’t. Experiment with different speeds. When you are done, rinse off and dry each other off and then fall asleep together. Turn on the ceiling fans for some extra breeze.

How Women Enjoy Eroticism Through Sex Stories

Most heterosexual women do not masturbate. They also do not find the concepts of eroticism or fantasy that appealing. So who reads all the feminine erotica out there?

Presumably some lesbian women masturbate and read erotica. In fact, female masturbation and clitoral stimulation are often associated with lesbianism. Perhaps this is why so much female erotica focuses on women’s bodies and sex between women.

No offence to lesbian or bisexual women but I am straight. I like male body parts, male psyche and sexual acts involving men. The woman is incidental. I enjoy homosexual erotica because I imagine myself on the receiving end of fellatio or anal sex, for example.

Female erotica often includes humiliation, domination and sadism. The titles of women’s sex stories abound with words such as: slave, chains, torture, bound, obey, submission. Do women associate sex with feeling ‘dirty’ or guilty about their sexual urges?

I like the wholehearted enthusiasm for sex that is portrayed in homosexual erotica. There is no virginal reluctance or demure disgust. People just enjoy the eroticism of sexual activity without anyone being forced into anything against their will (not always but mostly).

I admit that domination can be arousing. Given there is so much out there I have read my share. One book of sex stories involved a series of sadistic scenarios and frankly I was quite relieved when I eventually tired of the never-ending pain. My conclusion is that the concept of sadism may get me going but, for me at least, it does not cause orgasm.

It was a revelation to me that, unlike pornography, erotica is not intended solely for the purposes of causing sexual arousal. Perhaps this explains why I often struggle to find sex stories for women that can assist with orgasm. I have to wonder though… what else does anyone read this stuff for?

Shere Hite was phenomenal but sadly few women relate to her findings. This is because most women approach sex through their relationship with their lover. They have no concept of enjoying their own sexual arousal through clitoral stimulation. Equally they have never discovered the pleasures of sexual fantasies.

I read Hite when I was twenty and I understood that clitoral stimulation was critical to female orgasm from masturbation. However, clitoral stimulation never seemed to help with my sexual arousal during sex with my partner. The fact is that even during female masturbation, clitoral stimulation only leads to orgasm when it is combined with the use of sexual fantasies.

Men have a fairly natural transition from masturbation to sex because they use images of naked women for arousal. Women do not use images of naked men during masturbation so it is more difficult for them to transfer their orgasm techniques including their use of sexual fantasies to sex with a partner.

Sex Story: How to Craft a Great One

When it comes to sex, so much emphasis is placed on what people do. And for obvious reason. But what about what people say? Particularly for long-distance lovers, words become an important device for expressing themselves and connecting sexually. While men must focus on maintaining good penile health so that any visual materials they send aren’t alarming, and so that they will be able to perform once the lover is nearby, they should equally attend to their verbal abilities so they can please partners in the present with a tailored sex story.

Now, anyone can tell a sex story, but not everyone can tell a truly thrilling one. Below, men can find tips for telling a tale that stokes a lover’s passion. And, while this is certainly desired in the case of long-distance lovers, it can also be of benefit to those near and dear, spicing things up in the bedroom.

1. Learn what she likes (and doesn’t). Any man can tell a story about what he likes, and about what other women he’s been with have liked, but tailoring a story to a particular lover’s preferences and fantasies will make all the difference for her. So some explicit pre-conversation will be very helpful. Does she have any kinks or fetishes? What positions does she love? Does she like to be in control, to relinquish control or a combination of the two? What kind of foreplay really gets her going? Where are her hot spots, inside and out?

Once a man has the details, he can use them wisely throughout his story. He should be careful not to turn the story into a formulaic bullet-point list of her desires. Intersperse aspects of what she likes with what the story-teller craves – having made sure that she is comfortable with what he likes. Learning what she doesn’t like is just as important here.

2. Get into her pleasure. This is one of the most important general sex tips, not just a story-telling tip. But a story is going to be much better if a man not only “ticks the boxes” of a lady’s preferences, but actually gets into the idea of pleasuring her. This opens him up to more descriptive language, imagining her writhing, moaning, gasping and so on, and responding sexually himself to her reactions, describing how much he enjoys the pleasure his “character” is giving hers.

3. Interactive or monologue? Lovers can play around with different formats for story-telling. They may want to start off exchanging monologues about what they want to do and to have done to them. Then they can move to live chatting or speaking in which the primary story-teller is open to interjections and revisions from the other, or the two can take equal turns building the tale.

4. It’s all in the details. Telling a great sex story requires consistency and detail – imagine the way bodies are positioned throughout, and make reasonable transitions to other positions. Were her hands tied behind her back? If she’s going to use her hands on one’s member in the next scene, they need to be untied, for example. Breaking consistency can break the magic of a steamy tale.

5. Be realistic. The best sex story is realistic. If a man writes or says that the second he enters a woman, she climaxes, that’s not likely to titillate her because it’s not likely to happen in real life. Don’t write about crazy positions that her flexibility or one’s own strength would not facilitate. While it may seem like no big deal to portray ideals and wild fantasies, this could convey to her that a man wants or expects things she can’t deliver, and that’s not a sexy thought.

Many couples choose to supplement their verbal tales with risqué pictures, and that’s a great idea for people who trust one another. A good sex tip for guys in this vein is to be mindful to make their organs as presentable as possible so that their dick pics are appealing. Minding the condition of the skin is crucial here. A penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) with Shea butter and vitamin E will keep the skin moisturized, eliminated the common issues of dryness and flakiness. Plus, such a product will help minimize chafing, which is inevitable with all the cranking a man is likely to do while crafting and receiving hot sex stories.

3 DEADLY Mistakes To Avoid When On Adult Dating Sites

Have you tried online dating on adult sites?

I know internet dating may sound a little lame STILL, but we’re now at an age where meeting someone online is generally accepted as not only for geeks is real people use it.

Yes, I’m talking about real hot women also use it as well.

So that has led me to write this article about online dating specifically for adult sites.

I know there are a lot of guys out there who just are not interested in relationships – that’s perfectly fine. Maybe their lifestyle or life stage at the moment just doesn’t allow them to develop a good long term loving relationship.

But they still want to meet women and have sex in the meantime.

So what does a guy have to do in order to fill their sexual desires whilst not spending a lot of time forever wasting their time at clubs and bars where the situation and environment does NOT work in their favor?

Simple.

Go on online dating sites where women are actively looking for sexual partners and are not hung up with emotional issues about it.

That’s probably the single biggest selling point for adult online dating.
The women there are looking for sex.

Sweeeeet!

Sign me up I hear you say!?

But have you ever paused for a moment to think about what are the disadvantages?

Well, here are the main disadvantages to online dating at adult sites:

1. If you sign up for a free account only you may be bombarded with fake messages. Since it’s not a secret that online dating sites make money when you PAY for their membership, most of them lure you in by giving you a “FREE ACCOUNT” so you can check out the sexy girls on the sites and see what’s out there. Most of the time this is what happens. Since you’re restricted by most adult dating sites from sending messages to other members, you’re going to be unable to respond back to women who message you. So what a lot of sites do this is. They use fake profiles with sexy women to contact and bombard FREE members with invitations for sex… so you’ll be thinking “oh this is great, I have 10 sexy girls wanting to have sex with me and I just signed up”.

But since you’re not able to respond to their messages as a free member, you quickly upgrade your membership to the paid status. Then you start messaging all these sexy girls back, but for some reason or another NONE of them turn out to be a real sexual experience and in the end you just end up turning to internet porn.

2. The photos are sexy as hell, but when you actually meet her it’s another story. Since we live in the digital age, it’s amazing what a few touch ups with Photoshop can do with a person’s profile picture. Imagine this, you sent out 100 messages to girls over the past week and the response rate is less than you like, however there’s one girl that seems to fit your criteria and she seems to be keen for sex. So you arrange to meet up with her. When you arrive, you see a girl that kind of resembles the profile picture of the girl you saw online, but is 10 times less attractive… so what do you do now? Do you end up settling or do you think to yourself “hmm… I should have done some better quality control”.

3. You don’t even get a real response – at all. This is probably the most common problem guys face online. They just don’t know how to stand out from the rest of the crowd and get responses from women who are both attractive and hot and ready for sex. They don’t know what kind of message to send to girls to get their interest and even if a girl is interested, and checks out the profile of the guy, they see a lame profile that is either boring or creepy as hell and scares them away…